"die specials heute abend…"
that's German for "the specials tonight…"
Happy Halloween!
Maybe it’s because I’ve been writing a lot about my childhood or I’m taking a(nother) break from booze and so I’m paying more attention to childhood joy… which means I can’t stop thinking about the Halloweens of the early 90s. Specifically, I’m missing the Halloween that I dressed up as a German waitress…
No one really knows why. I think I had the lederhosen and thought, “WAITRESS. OBVIOUSLY.” What is not pictured is that I had a notepad and pen to take orders and a tray that I carried around with these things glued down: a lobster on a plate with fake lettuce and a Sprite can… you know… traditional German fare.
Lisa’s (my bff’s) dad took this photo of me. I spent so much time at their home. This was also around the time that I was asking homeowners what their fire-escape plan was and if they’d been running fire-drills. A fire marshal had recently given a talk to our school class and had stressed the importance of planning and I took it upon myself to make sure everyone I knew was ready.
In an infamous evening in my childhood, I made everyone in my family lie in their beds like they were asleep. I laid in the top bunk of Sarah and my bunk bed, closing my eyes, to make it the most official. I was the best rule follower. Then I made my dad yell, “Fire! Fire! Fire! Everybody out!”
As I had practiced, I scrambled down my bed latter, jumping down from the last three steps. I opened the window of our bedroom, popped off the screen, and made it to the meeting-spot by the tree in our front yard. I was the first to make it there, but soon Mom and Dad were also standing next to me.
“Where’s Sarah??!” I yelled.
“She’s right there,” my mom calmly stated as she pointed to my six-year-old sister, standing in our window, shaking her head.
“Climb on out, Sarah, it’s okay,” my dad said as he put a hand out towards my sister.
“No, I’m not doing this.”
“She’s gonna die!” I screamed, hysterically.
“Rachel, settle down.”
“The smoke will make her pass out before the fire even gets to her!”
My mom tried to calm me down while my dad tried to convince Sarah to crawl out the window. Sarah shook her head more.
“Sarah! Come on!” I screamed.
I got more fired up that the theoretical flames where coming for my sister. Mom and Dad kept looking at each other and trying to telepathically communicate while calming both of their children down. Sarah finally went back inside to the living room and took this opportunity to put on what she wanted to watch on TV for the first time in her entire life. I can’t help but think what this scene must’ve looked like to our neighbors.
And now there I was at Lisa’s home, dressed as a German waitress, likely asking her dad what their fire-escape plan was, because all of their bedrooms were on the second floor. It’s shocking that I had any friends and that their parents let me come over, but honestly it was mainly just Lisa and her family. And the Halloweens at her house were the best. Jerry Seinfeld (another 90s throwback) has this bit that I think about every year. This was 100% us as children:
We would draw maps of her neighborhood and would be determined to hit 100 houses trick-or-treating. We. Wanted. Candy. We would run as fast as we could, carrying our pillowcases, filled with candy. One house with a large iron gate would always just throw pennies and nickels at us and we loved it, because it was bonkers weird… but we really wanted candy.
After our 100 houses (likely 30), we would come home and watch a semi-scary movie (likely Hocus Pocus), gorge ourselves on candy, do some bargaining and trades, and then sleep in the den… on the first floor… per my insistence.
When I look at my life now and wonder where I belong and how to live my most fun, childlike-joy-filled life, I get a flash of me as a German waitress, running around those perfect Texas nights not needing even a coat, eating Reese’s, laughing with my best friend, calling my dad to check in on the World Series game, watching witchy movies, and always low-key planning for a fire.
Honestly, not much has changed. And what has, I wish it hadn’t.
A Little Woo:
Anything Can Happen On Halloween: The astrology of today/tonight/this time is telling you to say “yes” to lots of things. Protect yourself (have a fire-drill plan in place), and honor where you came from, but don’t be afraid to lean into the weirdness of your true self. Your dark side is actually much more relatable than you think.
Read your horoscope for Halloween here.
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Car Seat Headrest – We Looked Like Giants.
(I’m in love with this cover and it gives me the good feels from this concert again.)
My Heart Aches For Idaho.
(this podcast made me reconsider ever wanting to end up living part-time in Victor, Idaho… something I had been daydreaming about. Evan’s family lives there, so many of our friends live there. but wtf, Idaho. this is required listening for all.)
Wow—This Piece Of Writing.
(we read this in my writing class a few weeks ago and it has stuck to my ribs and has influenced my writing deeply already.)The Funniest SNL Skit In Years.
(omg, so accurate. and I absolutely love Nate Bargatze. so freaking funny.)My Office-Costume Halloween Fail.
(this was in 2018, when I worked at a legit fancy advertising agency.)Strongly Considering This Tattoo.
(sorry, Mom. I’ve wanted to get the state of Texas tattooed on my ass since 2007 and this one just makes me laugh so much.)
I Miss New Girl.
(I watched this a hundred times, because it was the joy/laugh I needed.)
LOL.
(omg too accurate.)
The world is heartbreaking right now. Thank you for being here week-after-week. And if you’re new—OMG WELCOME. Being together in this way makes my heart so happy.
xxo,
rachel.