happy valentine's!!
I'm feeling it.
Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves!! I am feeeeeeling love lately. It’s bursting out of me and so much is directed at you, at my family, at my friends, at my job, at the universe, at this world… because there is goodness in it, despite it all.
Not So Random Thoughts for Valentine’s Day 2023…
Marcelline had her MRI on Friday and it went so well and (in Arnold voice) it’s not a tumor!! My whole heart swelled and broke and engaged again and then soared on Friday throughout the day. They found a tiny problematic spot on her brain that could be causing (super manageable) seizures. My whole heart for a tiny spot on the brain of a glorious human.
There are many side effects to being Overshare Stevens that don’t rule, but one that does is when you tell everyone you know that your baby is getting and MRI and then it goes well, you get to call/text everyone you know with the good news. It’s the joy and excitement of getting engaged, but bigger. A big win. Such good news. Love and joy I can’t not tell you about.
My whole body relaxed and exhaled in a way I didn’t expect on Friday. Marcelline and I both took a four hour nap later that day. I woke up and felt like I was a different person. I felt like a different parent. The worry had been weighing me down like an anchor to the ocean floor and now I was at the surface with my head above water. I sent a Slack message to all of the parents at Marcelline’s school to let them know the results. Yesterday at drop-off, a fellow-mom just locked eyes with me and reached her hands out and we held hands and she squeezed so tight and she just kept saying, “I’m just so happy. I’m just so happy.” We hugged.
Random Thoughts for Valentine’s Day 2023…
What My Valentine’s Days Were In Previous Lives:
Heart sugar cookies on sticks that my mom made every year.
A teddy-bear (that Marcelline has now) and roses from a boyfriend.
Me making mix CDs for all my high school girlfriends and driving all around Georgetown, Texas to leave them on their cars with homemade Valentine’s. This was the last song on that mix.
Finding a scrapbook at an estate sale with a ton of vintage Valentine’s cards in it and giving one to each of my coworkers at an office job. A coworker saying, “Rachel, you’re giving us a dead woman’s Valentine’s… you are so weird.”
Too much for a guy I was casually dating. He stood me up, so I had macaroni and cheese and watched Varsity Blues with a guy friend of mine who I later fell in love with. (which was a “mistake” in my long Book of Mistakes that was my love life.)
A card sent to me in Australia.
Looking back on all my loves, just a month before I started dating Evan.
Lingerie and heels.
Breakfast dates with Evan over the years, because we didn’t have enough money for big dinners out and we didn’t care that that much about the holiday itself. I love that we made this tradition for us.
A miscarriage. (because sometimes it feels like I live in a poorly written rom-dram.)
What My Valentine’s Day Is Now:
Filling out Valentine’s cards for Marcelline’s school with her.
Marcie gets holidays mixed up and I love it SO much. She keeps saying, “I be a piggy for Valentine’s.”
Breakfast here with my family.
I got this SEXY gift for Evan this year and he LOVED it.
Working. Making radio.
What My Valentine’s Day Has Been And Will Always Be:
Watching my all-time favorite movie.
Using the holiday as an excuse to visit a favorite neighborhood wine shop.
Kitchen dance parties to banger self-empowerment songs.
Loving love. Not being able to not.
Evan. Always. Marcelline. Forever.
A Little Woo:
Venus Energy: My astrology knowledge has officially gone from knowing-my-sign status to knowing-my-big-tree status to “okay, well where is your Venus placement?” Do you know where yours is? (probably not, if you’re coming to ME for a little woo.) You can find yours out at Co—Star. (then befriend me! I’m @rlmstevens)
Venus is all about love and that planet is doing some really cool stuff with Neptune right now. From CosmicRx:
“On the 15th (but we will feel it on the 14th), we have our once-a-year Venus-Neptune conjunction. This day is like a *cosmic kiss* and we all feel an extra dose of love, compassion and shared values. There are extra opportunities for intimacy, magnetism and experiencing beauty. This transit may also heighten our self-esteem, kismet meetings, positive opportunities and overall sense of happiness.”
THAT is what I’m craving. That extra dose of love, compassion, shared values. That mom squeezing my hands at school drop-off. That is the love I know exists in the world and I want to give and be a part of more of it.
CosmicRx has these, too:
Romanticize Your Life Using Your Venus Sign
Venus in Aries*: Wear an outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks to do something mundane like grocery shopping or walking your dog.
Venus in Taurus: Savor your morning beverage- use two hands to really slow down and take it all in.
Venus in Gemini: Write someone you love a handwritten note- get some gorgeous stationary and put pen to paper. Extra points for doodles.
Venus in Cancer: Do everything by mood lighting or candle light. Cozy lighting has a way of making everything feel cozy and warm.
Venus in Leo: Do a self portrait shoot. Set up a backdrop or go somewhere in nature and have fun being your own artist and muse.
Venus in Virgo: Take your journal on a date to your local library or cafe. See what comes up with this change of scenery.
Venus in Libra: Curate an inspiration corner- keep fresh flowers and a book of poetry or art nearby. Flip to a random page or take a whiff when you need a pick-me-up.
Venus in Scorpio: Take a long, luxurious bath and then wrap yourself in your favorite robe or comfy clothes (bonus points for a matching PJ set!)
Venus in Sagittarius: Make a day of it. Next time you have an ordinary task- like an oil change or dentist appointment- that brings you to a new neighborhood, make time to wander or visit the local park or bookstore.
Venus in Capricorn: Let yourself be entertained. Whether it’s a visit to a museum or trip to your local independent cinema, let yourself appreciate art for beauty’s sake and see how it shifts your perspective.
Venus in Aquarius: Make an epic playlist and go for a drive with no destination in mind. Bonus points for rolling the windows down and music up.
Venus in Pisces: Add some intention to your nighttime routine. Diffuse some lavender or do a face mask by candlelight for extra sweet dreams.
*this is mine, which has me cracking up, because I have had my Valentine’s outfit for work (just for work!) picked out for like a week now. why am I like this?? oh, Venus.Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Rihanna.
(that’s the jam. that whole Super Bowl Half-Time Show. I didn’t watch the Super Bowl, but I did get into bed with Evan Sunday night and watch the Half-Time Show on YouTube. when we started dating, Rihanna was a secret-vice of Evan’s and a not-so-secret-vice of mine. we listened and danced to a LOT of Rihanna at the beginning of our relationship. so we sat there and sang and danced along to the whole damn thing, in awe of the performance from this badass pregnant woman. also THIS.)
Math or Magic?
(I have listened to every single This American Life that has ever been made. if there was a Rachel Stevens crest, the TAL logo would be on it. THIS episode is spectacular. how does this show keep hitting me right in the heart? the last little bit [no spoilers] really got me. I didn’t know if Evan was my person for a long time of dating… I kept waffling between believing in magic or counting on math.)Why Aren’t Y’all Coming to Seattle??
(I love these two women a lot and if they were coming even remotely close to Seattle for this comedy tour, I’d be all in. once upon a time, my job took me to Chicago a couple times a year. maybe I’ll just pretend it’s the olden days and plan a trip to Chicago.)Dammit, THIS is Gonna Make Me Get ANOTHER Streaming Service.
(I just love Natasha Lyonne so much.)Best Galentine’s Gift EVER.
(yes, Evie and Chelsea and I are going to Beyoncé together. and we only had to sell one kidney a piece.)
11: wow I love you.
(a playlist for you for Valentine’s. sorry I couldn’t leave it on your car earlier this morning with a single rose and a homemade Valentine. maybe next year.)
I know Valentine’s isn’t the best day for a lot of people. I know some of y’all hate it. It’s been my least-favorite before. It’s not my favorite now, but you’re my favorite. This is special. You’re special. Thank you for being here. Happy Valentine’s!
xxo,
rachel.
