if 2021 was a morning.
knock knock… let's do this.
I hope you had the Merriest Christmas (if you celebrate)! A bonkers amount of snow has hit Seattle and we’ve been taking Marcelline out and about in it. Yesterday, I took her to the local hill to sled and it was magic. But on the way back, she was tired and cold and just wanted to be held by her momma. It was the saddest/sweetest thing. I was literally sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, holding my baby, rubbing her back. Then—after refusing to go back in the sled—I was precariously carrying my toddler, walking on ice, pulling a sled behind me. (sucker. that’s the word you were looking for.) I am not strong enough for .75 miles of that kind of workout, so we took a pit stop at the neighborhood brewery and luckily Marcie fully recovered there. These are the things we don’t show on social media, huh? The breakdowns. But here I am, showing all my cards anyways.
Not the best photo, but one of the best nights. (and, also, aren’t those playing cards awesome? got them here—highly recommend.) One of the best nights of the year, which didn’t have a lot of competition, really. In a weird/hard year, I had one of my favorite things I’ve ever written published in The New York Times. So my husband, Evan, and I drank a bottle of wine we had been saving and played cards and just talked. The night started hard, which is another way I’m here just showing my cards. Expectations are hard, y’all. And life just gets so life-y. But the night ended in complete giggles and many cheers. (and that bottle of wine was the best wine I’ve ever had in my life.)
Towards the end of the night, Evan and I were laughing so hard about a story we decided defined our 2021. One night this Summer, I was cooking dinner for the family while Evan was at work. (this is harder than I think people realize—wrangling a toddler and making a whole damn meal.) Okay, and just like every time I cook dinner, the smoke alarm went off. In frustration, I went and put the alarm outside and then went about finishing dinner.
The next morning, Evan was leaving to go pick something up, so he had to take the van. He had a lot of moving stuff around to do and loading Marcie up to do, so I said said my goodbyes and then hopped on a Zoom meeting with my boss. An alarm went off. I tried to ignore it. I saw my boss try to ignore it. After a while, I said, “I’m just gonna go check on that and make sure everything’s okay.”
I opened the door and went outside to see Evan completely panicking, holding a smashed smoke alarm.
“Umm I just RAN OVER a smoke alarm with the van and now I can’t get it to stop!”
At the time, it was complete pandemonium. Me trying to shhh him and it. Him trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Me being defensive about how I put it outside last night and forgot about it, okay?? Him being defensive, because he literally did nothing wrong and now was holding a fire alarm that was yelling at him. We didn’t laugh then. We’re laughing now. What a scene. Very 2021.
This year has been hard. I haven’t known anyone who has fallen in love this year. I didn’t get any wedding invites. There were no engagement phone calls. I have known so many couples who have broken up. Filed for divorce. Ended their relationships. Evan and my relationship is fine, but I just want to acknowledge it was a hard year out there. And then you run a smoke alarm over with your van and it yells at you like there’s fire everywhere and your wife yells at you to put out all these metaphorical fires and quiet down.
Be kind to yourself and each other.
A Little Woo:
A New Year Around the Bend! The next time I see you, it’ll be 2022! (here’s my favorite calendar—some woo, but still all of the dates and birthdays and things.) Something I really like to do is make a Vision Board. I’m working on mine and I’m saying it “out loud” so that I get it done. I’m a little nervous, because for years I’ve had “Modern Love” and “KEXP” on my vision board. Then those things happened! And then I didn’t make one for 2021, because 2020 hurt me. Did not making a new vision board make my previous one stronger??
What’s next? I really don’t know. Will everything change in the new year? No. Am I gonna try and make some shit change? Hells yes. Do I know exactly what yet? Ask me after I finish my vision board.
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Arrested Development – We Feeling It All
(Marco really got me into this song when we were on KEXP together last week. also, this band has been making music together since 1988 and still putting out bangers!)
06: close the book.
(my latest in Spotify playlists features my favorite albums of 2021 and more favorite songs from the year. close the book. look up. let’s go.)(okay, it did not come out this year. I was slower on the reading this year than I wanted to be. anywho, this book is wonderful.)
Fave Podcast Episode of the Year.
(speaking of relationships. I just love how this woman talks about her partner at the end of this episode. and I love thinking about cringey high school times sometimes.)I Told People My Favorite Shows of the Year were This and This.
(but they were actually This and This. but my god, so much good TV this year!)SPEAKING OF: Okay, Did Y’all Watch the Insecure Series Finale??
(I don’t know who’s team I was on before, but I loved everything about this finale and cried a lot.)
Alright. IN CLOSING: I need to watch less TV, read more, watch a movie even! And write more? We’ll see. I’m gonna put some stuff on a vision board.
Also, I love you.
Happy New Year, loverlies!
xxo,
rachel.