"shit, we gotta move!"
a teammate makes a move for team captain.
A couple weeks ago, my daughter said something to her teacher that I will hold in my heart forever. I dropped Marcelline off at school (Evan usually does) and her teacher told me, “Marcie is so proud of you. She’s always telling people, ‘My mom was in the New York Times!’ And I asked her, ‘Is your mom famous?’ and she told me, ‘No, she’s just really talented.’”
You may have already heard that story. Have I told it on this here Messayist yet? Oh, DON’T CARE. I WILL BE TELLING THAT STORY WEEKLY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 😭😭😭
And I was in this place that was like, Oh, my daughter is so magic. She says the most amazing things. She is the spokesperson for our family, because she can convey love and silliness like only a four-year-old can.
But then she was out skiing with Evan and at the restaurant on the hill, Evan ran into a coworker and her mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law is from Seattle, so Marcie told her, “We used to live in Seattle, but then my parents ran out of money. So I said, ‘Shit, we gotta move!’”
(please enjoy my reactions upon hearing this quote, interpreted by Schitt’s Creek gifs. since, we are the Roses.)
Okay, first of all. Yes, our kid curses every once in a while. In my personal opinion, there are much worse things a four-year-old could do. There are much more cruel ways she could speak to someone and, don’t worry, she does those, too! I’m just less concerned with the cursing. I curse around her. We listen to uncensored music and I even let her watch RuPaul’s Drag Race once in a blue moon. (the drag queen content is the education I want to give her, but they do curse a LOT in that show. and there’s always a lot more adult content than I remember. but when we pick out Marcie’s outfit in the morning, we always say, “Category is…!”) But I’m not gonna lie to y’all. Hearing my kid use the word “shit” to emphasize something is totally hilarious to me. “Shit, we have to move!”
Other things:
How funny is it to think that Evan and I ran out of money and then decided to move to JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING.
Right, because moving is traditionally super cheap and we ran out of money and thought, “You know what we should do? Deplete our savings account even more to move to the second-most expensive town in the country.”
I love that Marcie thinks she’s making the calls in this family. It actually really warms my heart that she thinks she’s making these observations and making these decisions for us.
It didn’t go this way. We spent so much time toiling over whether to move to Jackson or not. I had to say goodbye to my favorite writing gigs and side hustles, because they were only Seattle-specific. Evan had to say goodbye to his floor at his hospital he loved. Marcie had to say goodbye to her school, her friends, her whole life as she knew it. The way we decided, finally, was Evan and I played darts in our yard one night and decided the darts game would decide. We laughed and talked through every single scenario. In the end, I won the game and we laughed, because we hadn’t decided what that would mean. If me winning meant we stayed or we went.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my team lately. Love, lately. Evan and I are coming up on fifteen years together. Marcelline is turning five soon. This year, Evan and I have been married for ten years. And everything is circling around a lot—coming full-circle—for Evan and me. But this time around, we have Marcelline on the team. She is giving me a run for my money as the most-vocal teammate. And as much as I want to set the record straight sometimes with what my kid tells people, I’m just so in love with her as a human and want to let her speak for us. I think she’s hilarious and shockingly vulnerable (a superpower I encourage her to tap into), even when she’s a little too honest. And I have Evan here, next to me, to bury my head into when I’m embarrassed by what Marcelline says. (like when her teacher told me she was “making everyone margaritas” at class one day.) Evan and I made this kid. Not just biologically, but with our every day love and care and humor and dance parties and frustrations and fuck-ups and fears. This is the product of our love for each other and our love for this kid and our love for this life. This is our team.
So I said, “Shit, I love this!”
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Tunde Adebimpe – Drop.
(this is a couple weeks old, but holy moly it’s so good. I’m SO excited for this album.)This Piece Made Me Cry.
(I never ever want to choose wine over Marcelline, but truthfully see how it happens. alcohol is a powerful bitch.)OBSESSED With This Home.
(more pink. more whimsy. more art. that’s what I want in my home.)
Powerful Full Moon Tonight/Tomorrow.
(“This is a wake up call for creative liberation that urges us to reconnect with our authentic self: the Leo Full Moon, tightly squaring Uranus, invites us to embrace the dance of transformation and align with our true needs.”)How Do I Buy Enough Of These For The Rest Of My Life’s Worth Of Letters?
(a favorite in our house.)I Loved Every Second Of This Show.
(v happy to have tickets to his Seattle show.)These Quotes Hit Me.
(“Better to admit you walked through the wrong door than spend the rest of your life in the wrong room.”)Bitch, YOU ARE.
I hope you have the happiest Valentine’s Day and there’s some love in your life that makes you say, “Shit, this is great.”
xxo,
rachel.