the gift our kids keep giving us.
The running joke my best friend Lisa and I have on this trip is, “This would be super enjoyable… without our children.” Vintage shops in tiny French towns, the Tate Modern, eating out, etc. etc. They would all be WONDERFUL… except our children are there. It is (mostly) a joke. I love being with this family.
I mean… look at these kids…
I think the hardest I’ve laughed in the last couple weeks has been because of something our kids said. Our precious, joy-filling kids.
Two things they have said have just slayed me. And—weirdly, coincidentally—both of them have to do with private parts… and they have both been on drives.
Funny Kid Thing Number One
In the Smeethens (Smith + Stevens… a portmanteau I fear none of our recent friends know so they never open letters we send) household, we’ve decided to really try and use the real words for private parts. So Marcie has a vagina and a butt… because what are you supposed to seriously call their butts? Anuses??! No way! That just sounds so wrong. I know this is what you’re supposed to do and I know that because when I was a child, my parents called my vagina an “ootsy gootsy.” While I always appreciate creativity in naming, what in the actual fuck, Mom and Dad?? Do you know how quickly I was made fun of as SOON as I said those two words out loud outside our own household?? Thank GOD it was to Lisa who immediately said, “What in the world are you talking about? Don’t call it that! Let’s go get a Pepsi Clear and some Sour Straws.”
So vagina it is! I honestly am not super comfortable talking about vaginas (in my early 20s, my friends called them “the good china”, just as a reference of how my maturity has progressed), so when I get to the part of bathtime where I have to clean Marcie’s, I say it in like a really funny, theatrical voice… “And what do we clean next? Your vagiiiiiiiinaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Anywhoooooo… A couple weeks ago, Evan, Marcelline, and I were with Evan’s cousin’s family in their super cool car—a Land Rover Defender. It’s a boxy car where you really feel everything. Evan’s cousin was merging on to the highway when she said, “Here we go.” And Evan replied, “Hold on to your butts!” (which, honestly, is a reference that makes me love him even more.)
We all kind of giggled and then Marcie loudly said,
“HOLD ON TO YOUR VAGINA!”
We all died laughing. She had no idea how funny she was being… to her, butts and vaginas are something we talk about hand in hand… so if you’re going to hold on to your butt… you might as well hold on to your vagina, too… just for safe measure.
Funny Kid Thing Number Two
In Lisa’s family, I don’t know if they’ve specifically tried to go another way, but their son (Asher… not his real name… just in case) definitely has some creative names for his junk… well, one creative name. The other day, Lisa said something about how Asher racked himself and hurt his “Willy Wonkas” and I said, “Wait, what are his Willy Wonkas?” And she replied, “His balls.” To which I asked, “I thought his penis was his Willy Wonka?” And she responded, “Yes, it is, too. They all are.” Alrighty!
When we’ve been driving around France, Evan and I have a rental car that I usually drive around with Lisa, her two kids, and Marcelline. (usually whilst Evan and Chris are on massive bike rides that echos stages of the Tour De France.) And I use these rides to play albums through of our youth—in full—like we did when we only had CDs. So that means putting on CrazySexyCool by TLC or Spice by the Spice Girls or Third Eye Blind’s self-titled album or Stars’ Set Yourself on Fire or—on this fateful day—Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill.
Asher (even though he’s only four) was sitting in the front seat, because of how carseats fit and work. As the song hit the perfect chorus of the first song of the album and Alanis belts out, “And all I really want… is some patience… a way to calm the angry voice…” Asher looked at me and said, “Did they say, ‘All my Willy Wonks?”
To which I replied, “ABSOLUTELY THEY DID.” And so now, both families BELT out this song and every time Alanis sings “An all I really want” or “And what I wouldn’t give” or anything with that same cadence, we all scream-sing “AND ALL MY WILLY WONKS!” and Asher is smiling so big and singing along and I just love it so much and catch myself just laughing about it to myself throughout the day. Without fail, when we put on music or get in to the car, Asher asks for the “Willy Wonks song” for the 500th time and I cannot resist. It’s too good.
We have laughed SO much on this trip together and I am eternally grateful for this fact.
This last year hasn’t been the easiest for Lisa. Actually, it may have been the hardest year. I have not had my favorite year either. Far from it. And these laughs are unexpected joy that we welcome with our arms wide open. It is a true gift that they keep giving us. It is a gift of a salve for our hearts and the the best kind of soreness for our abs.
So yes, the Tate Modern would probably be a little more enjoyable without children—it’s art! They’re toddlers! But as far as general life: I know there would be many less laughs without them. So much less joy. So much less of the life that makes it all worth it. Thank you, kiddos. For being absolutely ridiculous.
A Little View:
some photos of late…
This week in Saint-Félix-de-Foncaude, France has been absolutely magical. So much love and so many laughs and this is what I was thinking about when I wanted a reset. This. Thank you, France. Merci la vie.
xxo,
Rachel.