tweets I would've tweeted.
are you selling drinks??
I deleted my Twitter account earlier this year, which—in theory—makes me feel cool AF. To be fair, I missed out on the opportunity to really have my hey day on Twitter—the late 2000s, early 2010s. All the journalists I loved kept telling me: this is the place to be, but I pussyfooted around and never really invested. But by the time I truly fell in love with the platform, it was already a cesspool of trolls and dark corners. (though it also brought one of my favorite podcast series of all time: Yes Yes No.)
I deleted Twitter (now X), because Elon Musk is a blowhard. I’m not the only one who left… not by a mile. So yeah, in theory, I feel cool. But in practice, I’m like: HOW WILL THE INTERNET KNOW HOW FUNNY AND/OR POETIC I AM??! Without some platform in my pocket that keeps score of fake internet points, I only have my own brain—my own world—to hold these observations. And what fun is that?
So here are a handful of the Tweets (Xes?) I wish I could have tweeted (Xed?) lately…
every time I read or hear the word “melancholy,” I think about how it’s some sort of anagram/homonym situation of “Colin Meloy” and how perfectly appropriate that is.
I threw my lower-back out doing yoga which really pisses me off, because I go to yoga for two reasons: to have better core strength and so that I don’t get so angry.
me: *riding my electric cargo bike through the Arboretum*
woman: hey! are you selling drinks?!
me: nope!
me: ………*slams on breaks. stops. puts my feet down.*
me: does it look like I’m selling drinks?
woman: kind of. like you have a cooler on the front there… like how people ride around on golf courses selling drinks.
got an email from my three-year-old’s school saying that I need to be quicker with drop-offs and also her potty accidents are “not sustainable.” when I picked her up, I asked a teacher how the day went. they said, “pretty good… but Marcie was ‘making everyone margaritas’ a lot today.” #whereismyMomTrophy?
my daughter was playing make-believe and told me my name is now “Challenge Face” and ohhhhkay now we’re in a fight.
me: you need to be nicer to yourself!
also me:
mom math is that if you and your partner buy two tickets to go to an event and then decide not to pay for a babysitter and just have one of you go and take a friend, that other ticket doesn’t count… as long as y’all can find someone to go with you.
mom math is that no calories count that are eaten standing in the kitchen in solitude staring into nothingness and simultaneously wondering how you got here while also thinking about how to get everything done.
(p.s. calorie counting is the patriarchy anyway so please please eat whatever you want and know you’re amazing.)I have peaked: I played a tennis match against a woman who works in publishing and when I told her that I had a Modern Love piece published in the The New York Times, she asked, “Oh, who do you know at the Times who helped you with that?” NOBODY BITCH I’M AMAZING!
I know Twitter’s magic comes from a moment—tweeting in real time and being a part of a conversation online with people across the world. So most magic is lost in a Tweet line-up, but it’s still fun to look them up and down and wonder which one would’ve done it.
A Little Woo:
OCTOBER MEANS SPOOKY: I wanted to keep things a bit light on the essay today, because things feel a bit unstable right now. If you’re feeling a bit more emotional than usual (even if you’re in a really good place), it make sense. It’s eclipse season! It’s October! It’s intense! There’s a fear aspect in this time in astrology. But it’s a unique kind of fear.
It’s getting into that writing program you applied for to finish your book manuscript and then being immediately terrified that it’ll be too hard and your book won’t be good enough.
It’s asking to feel connected to the Universe and then crying when a stranger buys your coffee because they say your daughter reminds them of a niece they lost.
It’s feeling like you’re not enough or you’re not worthy, when the Universe is just trying to take care of you.
Be gentle with yourself. Drink water. Get sleep. And if you wanna dive deeper with a truly gentle soul, I highly recommend getting a reading with Tyler. He is incredible.
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Pale Jay – Dreaming in Slow Motion.
(been having v vivid dreams lately and this somehow feels like the soundtrack to all of them.)
J’Von is Back.
(one of the most underrated rappers is back with a beautiful album. also, do I want the navy or the green hat?)I BREEZED Through This Comedy Special.
(god I love laughing.)I’m Craving Art Museums.
(will be checking out this exhibit and this one as well. please send your Seattle recs. should we go together?)
Dorky PSA: You Need This.
(Marcelline and I were walking home at night, in the rain, crossing a crosswalk, when a car thinking it would roll through a right-on-red light really almost hit us. it was terrifying and Marcie is now afraid to walk around in the dark. it’s hard to see pedestrians in the dark in the rain! so now I wear one of these.)Laughed Too Hard At This.
(but seriously.)
Thank you for being here. I love y’all and feel real lucky to have this community of friends. It’s getting dark out there, so always feel free to drop a note to me if the darkness is making you feel lonely. We’re actually all together in the darkness, but it’s hard to see that.
xxo,
rachel.