what are you waiting for?
let's fucking go.
I go on small dates with my two-year-old daughter. My husband works every Monday and doesn’t get home until 8:30, so Marcelline (aforementioned toddler) and I go to a pho place down the street every Monday for a “Soup Date.” Marcelline and Lena (one of the owners) are very well acquainted at this point. Marcie finishes her pho as soon as possible, so she can ask Lena to watch her do “fashion walks” around the restaurant. (picture hands on hips, face pouted out… generally being fabulous.) I love these little moments… even though they also stress me the fuck out sometimes… like, please don’t destroy anything, kid. Also, Lena, you don’t have to watch my daughter walk around anymore if you don’t want to. But Lena loves it. And I sit there, while Marcelline waltzes around, showing off and having the best time.
Our most regular “date” is to a coffee shop in the neighborhood. Marcelline gets a vegan muffin (she’s allergic to everything) and I get a latte (no matter what time of day we go) and sometimes a croissant that I ask them to heat up. Then we take our treats and sit outside on the sidewalk chairs and count dogs that walk by. Earlier this week, we went on a coffee date, but it was cold and kind of raining outside, so I decided we’d enjoy our treats inside instead of outside. We sat at our table for a bit and Marcelline ate her muffin. I started to relax and stare off, deep in thought. Marcelline looked at me and asked…
“Momma, what you waiting for??”
I was taken aback. What?? Is she in my brain? Is she my Jiminy Cricket??
“Uhh, I dunno, Marcie! That is a great question. What AM I waiting for?”
I was inspired to move. To do it. To write… To get up and fashion walk with her… To dance… To dive in… What am I waiting for??
It really took me about an hour after we got home to realize Marcelline was asking, because we’ve only ever stayed inside the coffee shop when we’re waiting for either my latte or a heated up croissant. When we stayed inside for much longer than our normal time, Marcelline wanted to know what I was waiting for.
Still.
That little voice with that big question will be my mantra this year.
A Little Woo:
Let’s Fucking Go: Apparently, you can subscribe to this newsletter and dedicate monetary support. I hadn’t really thought about that being something that I wanted to promote, because I’ve been writing on the internet for free for literal decades. But last week, I got an email saying that my dear friend Emma had paid $80 for a yearly subscription to wull hay's Substack. In the notes field, she wrote: “Let’s fucking go!”
That encouragement and love and believing in me. It meant the world. It’s like Marcelline asking, “Momma, what you waiting for?” Let’s fucking go.
I met Tyler on Instagram through a friend. We met in the International District in late August 2022 so he could give me a tarot card reading for donations to help fund a skate trip he was going on. It was super special—the reading and our connection. So I asked Tyler if he could do another reading for me for the new year. He said he wasn’t really doing readings and didn’t know his rate, but he wanted to do it.
Tyler came to my home on a very rainy Saturday and did a super therapeutic reading for me. The universe was electric and the connection was felt.
We talked and drew cards and time just flew by. When it was time for Tyler to go, I asked him what I should pay him. He said he didn’t know. I didn’t know, either. He wants to start doing readings for people for profit. He should! Tyler is incredible. And so gifted. I believe in him. He believes in me. The universe believes in us. I paid him and in the Venmo note just wrote: “let’s fucking go.”
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Sam Smith — I’m not Here to Make Friends.
(okay, I’m into this song fur sure… but this is here for the video. fucking fabulous. btw, these SNL performances were weird and bizarre in my favorite ways. also, I am here to make friends… please know that… that’s basically what this newsletter is for.)
I Finished This Book.
(it is incredible and so important. I found myself Googling so many people from the book as soon as I finished it.)Calling All Radiohead Fans…
(just making sure you’ve watched this. I was there. and it was one of my favorite days of work ever… ever. the place was packed in the viewing gallery and it was electric.)My Heart.
(babies and art.)My Go-To For Joy.
(bloopers. I’ve watched this one over and over. and this one! I love bloopers so much that sometimes I watch them from shows I don’t really watch! what’s wrong with me???)
This came late and may even be a little lacking, but you opened up the door anyway. Thank you. You rule.
xxo,
rachel.