whispers of truth.
the heart of te fiti has been restored.
Last week, Evan and I went to String Lake to celebrate our ninth wedding anniversary. I squeezed into my wedding dress for like two pictures before we swam and drank champagne and ate Indian food and played cribbage and then got Blizzards on the way home and then finally (finally!) watched the season finale of season two of The Bear. (don’t. we’ve been busy.)
But before we left for our picnic date, we exchanged gifts. I insisted on going first, because I knew that my gift was ridiculous. The ninth anniversary—I thought—is ceramics… so I went out (last minute) and found something I thought was awesome. I found it at Mountain Dandy, it’s vintage, it features a bear, it’s ceramic… perfect! But then I brought it home and looked at the internet again, which said that the traditional gift is actually pottery.
I panicked. I had written a card along the lines of, “I’m sorry… this is ridiculous… I love you… thank you for loving me even though I’m ridiculous.” I gave it to Evan, he opened it.
What is it, you ask? Oh, an ashtray. With a bear (bears WERE present at our String Lake wedding, okay) weirdly hunting a fish. We don’t smoke. It’s a little predatory for a love gift. Evan looked at it bewildered and then laughed and said thank you. Then he gave me my gift. It came in a small ring box…
He got the stone replaced in my engagement ring with another sapphire from the same lot he mined nine years ago. I hadn’t realized just how much I missed having a stone in there. Evan told me…
– This stone is heat-treated, so it should be stronger.
What a needed analogy and symbol to wear on my finger every day. I started crying a little harder than I thought I would and said…
– I mean, it’s not as good as my gift to you… but it’s pretty great.
This gift exchange reminded me so much of the poem, The Lanyard. We hugged hard. Evan whispered…
– I have restored the heart of Te Fiti. I have restored the heart of the Rachel.
We laughed, because Moana rules everything around us these days. I whispered back…
– You really, really have. Thank you.
Our anniversary felt like the first truly good day since being here. Maybe my heart really has been restored!
Last night, I took Marcelline to the Center for the Arts to see Joy Oladokun:
I bribed her like crazy. This is mostly my parenting strategy. I told Marcie she had to finish dinner before we went to the concert and then at the concert—if she was good—she could get a treat. She agreed. She had many caveats for what she wanted to wear. I agreed.
When we got there, our friends had saved us seats in the second row. The show didn’t even start until 8pm, so it wasn’t a huge surprise that Marcie was the only child there. She sat excitedly through the end of the opener and clapped hard and “woooo”-ed every time the crowd did. As soon as Kara Jackson finished, Marcie wanted to collect her part of the deal…
– Momma, I want my snack.
Fair enough. Since Marcie has a million allergies, our best bet was a whole-ass bag of gummy bears. One that should be for ten children or put on a kitchen cabinet shelf and doled out after dinner for weeks on end. We were back at our seats and I was catching up with some of my friends before I realized Marcie had eaten the WHOLE BAG of gummy bears in no time flat.
When Joy started, some people got up and went to the floor to sit or lay down in front of the stage. Some people danced on the sides. I told Marcie she could if she wanted to, but she wasn’t into it. We snuggled a bit. We held hands. We clapped. Marcie started chair-dancing a lot, watching other’s dance.
Before I knew it, Marcie was asking me to hold her unicorn purse so she could dance down on the floor. It. Was. Everything. Everyone around was just in awe of this little kid just doing what their body told them… she was doing a LOT of interpretive moves. One was where she sat down on the floor with her legs out and said, “Look, Momma! The splits!” Another where she ran her hand down her face and then down her neck and belly and then did this bow thing? She told me later that she “learned it from Beyoncé.”
I was smiling so hard and laughing so much that I cried. Happy tears! It was so beautiful. Her happiness was contagious and everyone around her was just filled with joy.
At one point, Marcie turned around and made eye-contact with me and said, “I GOTTA GO POTTY.” In the bathroom, we took turns going pee and I told her how much I loved her dance moves. She told me, “I’m really good at dancing.” When we got out of the stall, a woman was standing there waiting. She had heard us talking and wanted to tell Marcie…
– I LOVE your dancing. You inspired me to get up and dance, too! You are an inspiration!
Marcie didn’t know what to say to that… I don’t think she knows what the word “inspiration” means. I told her to say “Thank you” and she did. She washed her hands and showed me one more time how she spin-dances.
When we went back to the theater, Marcie wanted to sit for a bit again.
It felt so special. We held hands and snuggled. I leaned over to Marcie and whispered…
– Thank you so much for coming to this concert with me, Marcie. I love you.
And she leaned in close to me, sweetly, and put both hands up to my ear so she could clearly whisper back to me…
– I’m still hungry.
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Lucius – Old Tape (feat Adam Granduciel).
(I love Lucius… even though I’m not convinced both of them aren’t this one hairdresser influencer whose look and style and life and wealth I’m obsessed with. also, I love how weird Fred Armisen is.)
I Made KHOL A Playlist.
(for your training run for Old Bill’s! also, for my many miles I’m logging for the NY marathon.)ALERT: SAMPLE SALE.
(this is gorgeous.)This Poem/Accomplishment Makes Me So Damn Happy.
(maybe I’ll soon graduate from backdives to backflips?? I’ve never done one!)
LOLZ Leo Szn Letting Us All Down.
(the full moon didn’t help.)Okay, What Would One Do If All Of The ADHD Videos On Social Media Are Creepily Accurate, But They’ve Never Been Diagnosed Or Even Close.
(asking for a friend.)These Comments Are Gold.
(ahh graphic design lyfe.)
OMG This Piece.
(it reads as one long bad joke and also I love it.)
It’s technically still Tuesday in some parts of the United States, so I’m technically not late on sending this news(love)letter out. You rule for being here—no matter what time it is where you are. Thank you.
xxo,
rachel.