Today’s news(love)letter will be short and sweet. And it will genuinely be a love-letter. This letter is from the past… or the future… I’m not sure. It was written and then scheduled, because I am currently unavailable. Because I am in Mexico.
I’m here. We’re here. Because it is Evan’s 40th birthday. TODAY.
Forty years on this earth, making the world a better place.
14 years in my world, making me a better person.
As someone who is mightily self-involved, I always think about the ways Evan has made MY life better—he’s down for any adventure and loves me with an unconditional heart and believes in me no matter how ridiculous my dreams seem. This is not special treatment… it’s just how Evan treats people. (I mean, I hope I get SOME special treatment… I am the mother of his child.)
Evan is an oncology nurse. He has seen a lot of death. I will never be able to understand the pain he sees and the loss he feels in his day-to-day job. Evan is also spectacular at his job. He has won two DAISY Awards and has been nominated for several. When he won his first DAISY, he handed me a folded piece of paper and asked if I wanted to read the nomination someone had written. I said I would in a bit. We were kind of fighting about something dumb (I cannot remember), so I was being a little cold. But when I finally read the nomination, I just started crying.
I have tried mightily to sneak around and find a digital copy of this nomination, but I can’t. I think about it all the time and every time I do, I cry. I will try to do it justice here, by memory…
Someone nominated Evan on behalf of the care he gave their wife. She had become very sick with cancer and kept losing her abilities, but Evan always treated her with respect, called her by her name, and told her what he was doing. This made her feel seen and known. Every time Evan would even listen to her heartbeat, he would say, “I’m going to listen to your heart now” before sliding his stethoscope into her gown to hear her chest.
On the evening she passed, her whole family was around her bed and Evan was in the room. Her monitors beeped slowly as her family members said goodbye. Her heart monitor beeped slower and slower and slower… until it was a flatline… and then the beeping stopped. Evan leaned in close to the woman, and even in death, let her know what he was going to do.
“I’m going to listen to your heart now,” he said before he put his stethoscope in her gown and confirmed that she had passed.
Her husband appreciated the humanization and respect for moments on both sides of this life and then death.
And I’m crying again now. This is who Evan is. And who he has been for 40 years now. I am so damn grateful we have you here, Evan.
Here Are Some Options For You To Celebrate Evan Today:
Go on a bike ride.
(bonus points if it turns into an epic of some sort.)Eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
(though it’s been almond butter since we’ve had our uber-allergic baby.)
Offer compassion and kindness to a broken person.
(bonus points if you partner is that broken person.)Mess up a pop culture reference.
(I am working on an Adam Levine/Adam DeVine PowerPoint.)
Listen to Tool or WuTang or Waxahatchee.
(and if Nora Jones comes on, you have to angrily turn it off IMMEDIATELY.)
Climb a mountain.
(or better yet SKI a mountain.)Take gorgeous photos of your friends and/or family.
(even when they seem annoyed by the camera.)
Cross your legs when you sit.
(this is my completely random turn-on in men.)
Extensively research gear online.
(you won’t ever purchase 95% of it, but the research is important.)
Dance in your kitchen with loved ones.
(he is always down for a kitchen dance party.)Raise a glass of bourbon.
(a manhattan or an old fashioned… preferably made with Evan Williams.)
Teach someone how to correctly cut a mango.
(they’re too embarrassed that they’ve gotten to adulthood not know the best way to cut a mango and after you show them, they’ll think of you every time they eat a mango and they will also taste so much sweeter.)
Listen to someone’s story. Hear them. Take genuine note of their passion/pain/personality.
(don’t just wait for your turn to talk.)
Practice your Spanish.
(you’re getting really good!)
Laugh loud.
(it’s my favorite sound in the world… mayyyybe second to Marcelline’s laugh. I love all y’all’s laughs. let’s laugh more, okay?)
Thanks for celebrating this human with me. It’s important to celebrate our loved ones while they’re still here. And I hope this one is here for at LEAST 40 more years.
Happy Birthday, Evan!!
xxo,
rachel.
¡FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS a Evan!
We are celebrating with Peanut Butter Swirl Bars!! So happy you two found each other on this journey of life!!