blossoming.
and cursing.
Spring has always been my favorite season. I’m fairly certain that’s because my birthday is May 16th (mark your calendars) and I’m self-involved (but combat my self-involvement with self-awareness). Because I don’t suffer from allergies, I still quite love the newness of this time of year, but as I get a bit older, my feelings for Spring become as confusing as Seattle weather in April. Sunny one moment, snowing another, sunny again, then the kind of rain that just makes you angry. I’m all over the place.
A perfect example: Marcelline and I went to see the cherry blossoms at the University of Washington quad and then I called an old lady a jackass.
The cherry blossom blooms are a THING in Seattle. I mean, they are gorgeous! But holy moly were there a ton of people at the UW quad this weekend. We went with some friends and after taking enough snaps of our kiddos together, we thought going to University Village for Din Tai Fung lunch would be a great idea. The same idea thousands of other Seattleites had. Marcie and I biked over there and put our name on the list at DTF. It was gonna be a while, so we went to Molly Moon’s (yes, before lunch) so I could finally get Cheryl Waters’ ice cream flavor. (tho, okay, I have to admit that I was last-minute tempted and got Lindy West’s flavor and it was the best ice cream I’ve ever had in my life. also, are you reading Butt News yet??)
University Village was absolutely bonkers on Saturday—cars everywhere. So there we were—mother and daughter—eating our ice cream, and we wanted to cross the street to sit on a bench to do so. An old woman in her car was at a stop sign and there was just so much traffic, so she couldn’t go anywhere, so we crossed in front of her… at a crosswalk. Our crossing apparently infuriated the woman and she yelled…
“GODDAMMIT!”
Which made me stop—in the middle of the street, with my hand on my toddlers’ head, while she was head-down, eating her ice cream—to yell back at this woman…
“Settle down!” I even did the Ross hands.
Okay, I know I shouldn’t ever tell anyone to settle down, so I should’ve expected what she said next.
Lady: Fuck you!
Me: A kid is crossing the street here! (as I pointed to my darling child, just going to town on her ice cream.)
Lady: I don’t care!
Me: YOU’RE A JACKASS.
Ahhh, I love springtime. Seeing the flowers, cursing at old ladies. The sun is out, shining on my face, while the chill of the breeze ices my hands to the point of pain. There is so much contradiction.
Feeling so much affection for Easters of yore.
But then remembering how bad my depression was just last Easter.
I love hearing the birds in the morning, but I also yell at and shoo the crows who eat the grass seed we’ve put down.
This time of renewal is refreshing, but exhausting. Newness is exciting, yet scary. Sunny and cold. Confusing.
I imagine being a bud on a tree, blossoming, coming into my own… ready to bloom and be my happiest, most beautiful self… only to realize that there are hundreds—thousands?—of buds coming into their own selves right next to me… like in my space. And I can’t help but turn to one of the beaming, blossoming flowers next to me and say something sweet like, “You’re a jackass.”
A Little Woo:
April Bringin’ Stuff: I didn’t really think that a new month would bring much difference to my spiritual world, but then I saw a Tarot card pull on Instagram. (I know I know I hear myself!! it’s insufferable, I KNOW.)
Here’s mine:
“Dear Taurus, your Tarot card for April is The Nine of Wands. This card means that there is one obstacle in front of you before you succeed in something important to you. You have to endure just a little bit more. You have to be resilient and persistent just a bit more.”
I feel that. In my bones. In my sore heart. And the coolest thing is that Tyler did a reading for me in January and the Nine of Wands was there. Tyler told me that the reading was for a time period through April. So cool.
This season of life is almost coming to an end. The flower blooms, but then what?
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: DEBBY FRIDAY - SO HARD TO TELL.
(on repeat. I love this song so so much.)
Worst Segue of the Week.
(okay, for April Fool’s Day, Reeves Richards and I did a Worst Segue of the Week for KEXP and I am dying at how fun it was. my job is ridiculous and I love it.)But Also This Is Me At Work.
(“alright, let’s see what you’re gonna do here.”)
Okay, I Love This Show.
(it’s like Almost Famous meets your favorite soap opera.)You KNOW I’m Excited About This.
(that color-scheme!)A Laugh.
(…especially for potty-training parents.)
This Made Me Smile.
(especially because I keep hearing that song everywhere.)
I hope you’re blooming and feeling good about it. I hope there is sun on your face, even if the air is frigid. I hope that if all this talk of “blooming” made you want a Blooming Onion that you GET IT, GIRL. You deserve it.
Also, I wanted to let y’all know that I know there’s no real perk of being a paid subscriber right now (besides the absolute pure joy and usually tears that comes from you believing in me and my writing), BUT I have something coming for paid subscribers. No spoilers, but it’s v public radio-esque. So think about it!
But regardless of whether you pay or not, I’m just so damn happy you’re here. You’re amazing. You’re the opposite of a jackass.
xxo,
Rachel.