just dads doin' dad stuff.
My dear friend Emma visited Seattle this weekend. Emma is a friend from my wildest days—early 20s in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Emma has always been one of my most inspirational friends. She is an architect, an artist, a badass, a mom of two, a CEO, a mountain biker, and a friend I laugh so hard with. Throughout the years…
This weekend, Emma and I did so many things together (hikes, OL Reign game, lunched, dinnered, sat in every chair in Blu Dot, etc.) sometimes with Marcelline (our three-year-old) and Evan, sometimes Evan had Marcelline. Emma and I laughed for about five minutes straight when we realized something…
We are spectacular dads.
Mediocre moms, but spectacular dads. We both work full-time; we both have partners who make the meals and clean the house; we both make time to recreate by ourselves and special time with our kids. We buy/find the best gifts for our loved ones. We buy an exorbitant amount of vegan ice cream for our allergic daughters.
We kept laughing at all the tropes of t-shirts we want to be wearing now…
“World’s Best Dad”
“Girl Dad”
“Dad Bod”
Listen. I have an incredible dad bod.
Also, we found this shirt…
It is fucking hilarious, but could you IMAGINE a shirt that said, “World’s Sluttiest Mom"? That shirt doesn’t exist. Because women get slut-shamed, men don’t.
I am a great dad. The world’s sluttiest dad? Unclear. I do love me a good crop-top.
Evan is the "working-parent” at Marcelline’s co-op school. He’s there every Wednesday, helping out in the classroom. Each month, there’s a school meeting that one parent goes to… I have never gone to one*… until last week.
It was a two-hour meeting that started at 7:30pm, which is when I get off work. I contributed to the conversations, participated in coupled-up activities, presented the Carnival fundraiser I’ve been working on…
…as a part of my job at the co-op. Anywho, it was the end of the meeting and it was just about ten parents of the kids in Marcelline’s class who circled up to talk about a few things. The safety person wanted to go over class policy for allergies and shuffled through some paperwork and said…
– Okay, with Marcie, her allergies are…
I kinda looked around and then said…
– I mean, I can speak to Marcie’s allergies.
The woman speaking, looked at me and then got wide-eyed and said…
– Oh my god, I didn’t even see you there! I just… I am so sorry… when Evan wasn’t here, I just assumed…
Spectacular dad. Mediocre mom. I promise I’m doing my best.
Evan, Emma, Marcelline, and I went canoeing and it was pretty epic… like… scary. And when we finally got home and I said I was going to try and put Marcelline down for a nap and then Evan came and found Marcie drawing in the living room and me asleep in the rocking chair in her bedroom. If that’s not a dad-move, I don’t know what is!
The whole weekend, Evan would text us, asking what we were up to and we would send a photo with the caption, “just doin’ dad stuff.”
We got up early to workout and then jump into Lake Washington. We hiked and were amazed at how big the trees are and how close this one bald eagle flew to us and beautiful hummingbirds are. We talked at length about our careers and our creativity. I showed Emma around KEXP and burst with pride at the work I do there. We went to an art exhibit. We sang songs from Frozen and from Lizzo with Marcelline. We laughed over and over at the best things. We remembered who were were in our 20s and saw those kids look at us in awe and approval and the joy that this beautiful friendship keeps going so strong. You know… dad stuff.
*listen, I missed one because of a LIZZO CONCERT… so it wasn’t like I was just skipping these cuz I didn’t wanna go.
A Little Woo:
Eagles & Herons & Hummingbirds—Oh My!: I know this woo-space is usually reserved for what’s going on with the planets and astrology, but I’m feeling avoidant and Mercury’s in retrograde, so… look over there!
I have been making more of an effort to go outside and be in nature. That’s the first step and we’re always like, “duh, going outside is great for you” but it doesn’t really hit me until I’m there. The second step is to actually look at what’s around me and soaking up the actual nature. Emma and I were hiking in Discovery Park yesterday and talking about life. Emma was talking about the goals for her firm and her next ten years when we came to an overlook and a bald eagle flew right by us… like ten feet away from us?? It was incredible. It felt like there was an eagle inside the house. The symbolism was coming from inside the house.
A bit later in the walk, I was talking about my life and goals and we saw a great blue heron. And as we continued on the trail, I don’t even remember what we were talking about, but this gorgeous little hummingbird just hovered in front of us for almost a full minute. We stopped and watched him and talked about how much we love hummingbirds.
I always take encounters like this seriously. Back in Missoula, I had a therapist who would pull out a book about animal symbolism and spiritual meaning when I mentioned animals I had come across or animals who had crossed my dreams. Here’s what these three birds mean, if you cross paths with them:
EAGLE
The eagle is the chief over all the winged creatures. Eagle conveys the powers and messages of the spirit; it is human's connection to the divine because it flies higher than any other bird. The eagle brings the message of renewed life because it is associated with the east winds—the direction of spring, dawn and rebirth.
(taken from here.)
GREAT BLUE HERON
(you knew I was gonna talk about these beautiful swamp monsters again.)
When it comes to great blue heron symbolism and meaning, it brings you a message to embrace your uniqueness and show pride in every situation. Great blue heron teaches you to find your inner peace and show love to yourself. You need to build and maintain self-respect and be gentle to yourself. It reminds you to stop for a moment and dive deep into your soul and find your true self.
(taken from here.)
HUMMINGBIRD
The hummingbird represents the small, yet mighty, voice within—one that must be heard. You have been looking inward and listening. When the hummer makes contact you will know that you are ready to share your voice with others who resonate with your special frequency. You might feel the need to express yourself creatively in order to validate what is inside of you.
(taken from here.)
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: Little Dragon — Slugs Of Love.
(I can’t stop listening to this. it’s dreamy and catchy and also makes me dance. ahhh… *chef’s kiss* of a song!)
I Got Ticket For Nate Bargatze.
(cannot wait… I still think this is my favorite of his stand-up specials.)I Started This Book Last Night.
(and I already feel bad about myself. does it get better?)I Think I Need This.
(but also fuck US News for the last category of this “Best Beach Bags for 2023.” curious… what makes a beach bag better for moms than it is for dads? asking for a dad friend.)
My Blu Dot Visit Has Me Wanting This and This.
(that’s all I need, right? one storage couch and one cool chair? right?)
Basically Marcelline’s Reports From School.
(“how was school?” “good.” “what’d you do?” “uhhh… I had okra in my lunch.” to be fair, I didn’t know that… Evan packs her lunches. #hesthebestmom)
(if you don’t have a hype-woman in your life like this already, just know that I’m rooting for you and you’re amazing.)
I love this time with you. Let’s always get together and sometimes talk about birds, okay?
xxo,
Dad.