lucky. but. but also.
in all the ways.
My birthday weekend was nothing short of EPIC. There’s no way I could write about everything I stuffed into four days. I went to four LCD Soundsystem concerts in a row… four nights… with different loved ones each night… well, one of my best friends (Allison) flew into town and went to three of the shows with me. The first night (May 16th) was my actual birthday. I know I’m privileged as hell to go to all four shows, but I’M MOVING TO WYOMING I HAVE TO CRAM IT ALL IN.
All weekend, I just kept feeling so lucky. Here are just some of the moments I felt lucky:
I got to jump into Lake Washington with my Jumper friends on my birthday. How lucky to have this tradition and these friends and this water.
jumpers! thank you Lisa for taking the photos. xxo. I was running around Seattle, through Gas Works, and thinking about how in high school, I would watch sections of 10 Things I Hate About You, over and over, before school. I had the VHS and I would just push play on wherever I had left off the morning before. I watched that movie over and over. It’s still one of my favorite movies. And now I run by the Troll and the statues in Gas Works Park that I saw so many times in my teens. I didn’t visit Seattle until I was 32 years old. How lucky I am to be here in this place now.
After dancing with so many friends at the LCD concert on my birthday, Evan, Allison, and I went to my favorite Seattle wine bar—Le Caviste—for cheese and a nightcap. And when we came home, my friend Frances had left a birthday present and a congrats present at our doorstep. I read the card and cried. How lucky I am to be surrounded by such love and such creativity.
I love these homemade cards so much. I went to Dream Girls Drag Brunch with a bunch of friends and it truly exceeded my expectations. I just kept turning to my friends and saying, “THIS IS THE BEST WEEKEND OF MY LIFE.” How lucky am I that I get to walk down the street to see some of the best drag queens and sing my heart out with so many incredible friends.
what a crew. On my birthday, KHOL announced that we are moving to Jackson and I will be the new Deputy Director of the station.
How lucky I am that this opportunity came to me at this time in this way.
Allison and I got to see Jean Smart in conversation at SIFF this weekend. We got a first watch of Season 3, Episode 7 and it was a CHRISTMAS episode and I freaking love Christmas episodes. I actually take personally offense if shows I watch don’t have a Christmas ep. (I know I know… dumb basic bitch stuff. NOT SORRY.) I’m lucky!
Sunday, I took Marcelline to Peter Rabbit with some friends at the Children’s Theatre at Seattle Center. I thought I would have time to go home and change before the LCD Soundsytem concert. But then Marcie and I went to KEXP to hang out with Evie. Evie and her daughter Olive were going to the concert that night, so we decided Evan would come and we would all go out to dinner and then Evan would take Marcie home and Evie would give me a ride to the concert. When Evan showed up to KEXP, this is how this conversation went:
Me: I really don’t want to wear this dress to the concert. I thought I’d have time to run home and change.
Evan: Oh, I’m sorry.
Me: I wish I was wearing what you’re wearing.
Evan: I’ll switch with you.
Me: Seriously??
Evan: Yeah, sure!
So we went out to dinner and Evan was in a dress and he didn’t even flinch about it.
this photo is art. Evie’s face! How lucky am I to have a partner so secure in himself and so kind and gracious. How lucky I am to have Evan.
Lucky. Yes. But lucky in the way where I’ve worked my ass off. My friend recently reminded me that sometimes you have to “fight like hell” to get your art out into the world. I have been fighting like hell to put my heart out there and make the kind of radio that changes the world. I am lucky that I didn’t let all the rejections and empty promises and miscarriages (physical, spiritual, and professional) discourage me enough to give up. Being an ambitious women in creative business has not been easy.
I’m lucky, but in the way where I truly believe in manifestation and truly love the people in my life. I’m in Seattle, because I wanted so bad to be here. I’m surrounded by these people, because I’m OBSESSED with them. I’m with Evan, because we choose each other every day and work hard on our relationship. I’m so lucky his new job in Jackson comes with housing and childcare, but holy shit… you should’ve seen how hard I’ve been encouraging him to pursue nursing (something he’s always loved) and how hard it was supporting him through nursing school. (he has always mirrored this enthusiasm and support for my pursuits, too.) I hustle for everything I want. I hustle and hydrate.
I’m lucky. But lucky in the way where I work my ass off.
Lucky. Yes. But also lucky in the way where I am so damn privileged. I was born white in a country that doesn’t really care about people of color. I was born in a body I identify with. I am a straight woman in a world that is somehow still homophobic. I’m lucky that each time I’ve been pregnant, I’ve wanted a baby. (one miscarriage, one Marcelline.) But without Plan-B (which I should’ve bought in bulk) and easy access to birth control, that would NOT have been the case since I lived in Wyoming in my 20s. I would’ve been very unlucky if that was today instead of 17 years ago. I gave birth to my baby in a place where—based on location and ethnicity and religious belief—she feels relatively safe. (well, besides her being female and every other American owning a gun or seven.)
I am so fucking lucky and so fucking fired up by my “luck.” While I feel so lucky lately, I acknowledge how much of that luck is truly problematic systems that I happen to fit into. ❤️🩹
So yes, I am a Ben Folds song… but… but also…
Quick Hits:
Jam of the Week: San Gabriel – Life in the Past Lane.
(I was looking at KHOL’s singles adds last week and saw my buddy San Gabriel’s new song on there! I love this track. James [aka San Gabriel] is playing Barboza in Seattle tomorrow night.)
A Little Woo: The Flower Moon Is In Two Days.
(“This [full moon] will activate our deepest emotions, allowing us to acknowledge them. It will enable us to relate to people on a more intricate level. Since we want to evolve partnerships, we may find that some relationships aren’t worth the effort because they have an expiration date and need to be purged from our lives. However, it’s more likely that we will try to work on alliances instead of letting go of them and create stronger foundations.” ♥️🌕♥️)She’s So Right.
(I adore her and you, you weirdo.)I Want These Coups.
(MADE is a v dangerous store for me to be in close proximity to.)These Memes Make Me Want To Watch Challengers Again.
(if you’re not following Jill, wth you doin.)Ha, Too True.
(I am v funny on Slack. I’m the one making your wife laugh.)
(no notes.)
Will I ever recover from birthday weekend? Probably not. But it was so damn worth it. Thank you for celebrating with me. I am so grateful you’re here.
xxo,
rachel.