the live-animal traps that would get me.
I'm surrounded.
When Evan and I moved to Missoula in 2011, our friends Josh and Sarah’s cat—Phinney—had run away. Josh assured us that they would get Phinney back, because Josh had put all of Phinney’s favorite things in a live-animal trap in the backyard. I laughed and asked what that meant. Josh replied, “You know, like his favorite toys and his favorite treats. He’ll get in there.”
Sarah asked, “Rachel, what are two things that would be in a live-animal trap that you would go in for?”
And Evan—who I had been dating for not even two years at this point—without skipping a beat, answered for me, “A cocktail and a dance party.”
To which, I could only be like…
It’s true. I would go into that trap. I love a good cocktail and I love a good dance party. (bonus points if costumes are involved.) (also, Evan’s live-animal trap was declared to be a peanutbutter & jelly sandwich and skiing.) (also, Phinney came back. the live-animal trap worked.)
What I didn’t really realize in 2011, is that these live-animal trappings would be few and far between as I got older, as the years went on. Fourteen years later, and I’m basically begging to be trapped. My opportunities to have a cocktail and a dance with friends just doesn’t happen anymore. At one point in my life, I complained about how many weddings I was invited to and now if you invite me to your wedding, I WILL BE THERE because a wedding usually involves my two trap fixings. (also, I probably love you.)
But beyond weddings and besides our kitchen, dance parties are few and far between these days. I can’t tell if it’s all old age’s fault. Or if the pandemic is partly to blame. Or if Seattle really just wasn’t a dance party city. I dunno.
A few weeks ago, I got to go to Kauai with some of my dearest friends to celebrate a big birthday for this glorious bird…
(yes, I brought the eagle mask to Hawaii. it travels.)
And after having dinner and a couple cocktails at this ah-mazing restaurant, we ended up back at our AirBNB, drinking Mai-Tais and/or wine and playing a card game—in costumes.
We laughed so hard and sang loud to the 90s Roadtrip playlist we had on. Then a Stevie Wonder came on and all the sudden it was a dance party… and there were cocktails… Y’ALL. I was in my live-animal trap! This dusty old trap was just as amazing as I remembered. (also, us girls ended up making a video to Kendrick Lamar’s Halftime Show later that night and it felt JUST like when my middle school friends and I would make music videos to the Spice Girls back in the day. that kind of kid magic from being so silly and so dedicated to the video.)
A few days later, I once again asked our Kauai-resident friend Davey, “Does the beach we’re going to have snorkeling?”
He laughed and told me that I’m the second visitor he’s known who is obsessed with snorkeling. I’M NOT SORRY ABOUT THIS. I’m quite obsessed with the chance to swim with turtles. And I love getting to see cool fish and beautiful coral. Also, you look really cool when you go snorkeling, too…
I realized that snorkeling might be in my live-animal trap these days.
Our last day in Kauai, we went on THE most adventurous boat trip to see the Na Pali coast and took a motorized raft up 15-foot waves. It was WILD. (I’m still having dreams about the boat going up those waves in a way that felt vertical.) I was grinning ear-to-ear the whole time, which made me think about how much I love boating with my friends.
Okay, so maybe boating with friends would be in my live-animal trap.
We saw SO. MANY. DOLPHINS. on the boat trip and it was straight-up magical.
And then Chelsi said she maybe she saw something out there and then only Allison, Chelsi, and I SAW A WHALE. And we squealed. And it was somehow more special, because we were the only three who saw her. And WHALES! Seeing whales would definitely be in another live-animal trap!
In 2011, I declared a live-animal trap that would get me and just thought that was who I was. I believed that as truth—a cocktail and a dance party… that’s me. By declaring my trap bait, I put myself in a box and I feel like—mentally—I kinda stayed there. I trapped myself. I’m the fun-faucet, right?? This is my live-animal trap!
In Kauai, I realized that not only did I get to have all my favorite things and danced hard in my old live-animal trap, but that I was lucky enough to be surrounded by dozens of live-animal traps during that trip, all filled with things I love.
How lucky that I’m this animal traveling the world, with such incredible friends, surrounded by all these traps that don’t want to hurt me, but want to serve up my favorite things, keep me around for a while, and feed my soul. It makes me feel wild to know that I have so much more in me now. I felt the depths within get darker and bigger, like riding each one of those 15-foot waves. Being on the ocean is knowing that there is so much within that you’ll never know and so much that you can discover. I’m not just a drunk girl at the party, leading the charge to the dance floor. I’m other things, dammit!
Evan and I both got out of work early today, so we decided to take a walk on the Elk Refuge Road, because it was SO nice out. As we were ending our walk, a group of about seven 20-somethings were heading out on their bikes, many with a can of beer in one-hand.
Evan: Are those people biking out with beers in-hand?
Me: Yeah. That’s totally something we would’ve done back in the day. It’s beautiful out!
Evan: Ahh, to be young again.
At one point, biking and a beer was on my Live-Animal Trap Bait list, but not anymore. Biking and something, maybe. But all I could think about was how cold those kids hands are gonna get without gloves and how I don’t think they realize the headwind they’re up against on the way back. SEE HOW FUN I AM? 😂🥴
An Abbreviated List Of Live-Animal Trap Bait That Would 100% Make Me Immediately Crawl In There:
A Latte & A Thrift Store.
A Loire Valley Red Wine & Arty Music Videos.
Queso & Sunshine.
A Drag Show & Marco Collins. (cracking up at Marco already caught in a trap, trying to get me trapped in there, too, and him tempting me with drag queens.)
Van-Camping & Cribbage.
A Hot Dog & A Photobooth.
A Good Vinyl Collection & A Puzzle.
Tarot Cards & A Costume Box.
Mood Lighting & A Cheese Plate.
And, let’s be real. What’s still a sure-fire way for me to crawl on in to that live-animal trap? Put in there…
A Cocktail & A Dance Party.
Quick Hits:
Jam Of The Week: redveil – square one.
(okay okay, not exactly “dance music” after all that talk, but I’m obsessed with this beat and this song. this guy is 21. WHOA. and this definitely fits into the category of “Arty Music Vidoes” that would get me into a trap.)
IT’S TAURUS SZN.
(I love that write-up and I love my horoscope here: “Get clear on what sustains you. Make beauty part of your practice. Let this birthday season bring you back to the stable ground of your own enoughness. You don’t need to do or become more. You’re already here. You’re already alive.”)Give It Time To Grow.
(I needed this sweet, short message.)Speaking Of Traps.
(does yours track? [if I haven’t told you a million times already] I’m a Taurus and it half-tracks for me. I would go get real-deal-injured in Scorpio’s trap, tho.)This Is A Hilarious Nightmare.
(if I had to make a teen think I was cool, I could 100% see myself going real hard on public transit, too.)About To Buy A $100 T-Shirt.
(backstory here.)The Entire World In My Pocket.
(sadly.)
Speaking Of Pockets.
(truth.)
Okay, y’all. a) The dress I ordered for my birthday party from my last news(love)letter is kinda perfect! Thank you for your affirmations and in-put! (though Evan said I look “regal” and that’s not exactly what I’m going for. OH WELL.) b) Also, I haven’t laugh LAUGHED in a hot second… so send your fave memes/shows/stand-ups. c) Also, I love you. Now go on get caught in them live-animal traps of life!
xxo,
rachel.
Your writing brings me joy.
We are going to Kauai in June!